Gerald Grow's Website
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by Gerald Grow
1. Start with a simple statement: We quit because nobody knew
how to program the computer.
2. Put it in the passive voice, to dilute the responsibility:
It was decided to quit.
3. Expand with terminology that does not add meaning: It
was decided to terminate.
4. Build in noun strings: It was decided to terminate project
processes.
5. Add a qualifier of uncertain relation to the original statement:
On account of the status of the computer, it was decided to terminate
project processes.
6. Add noun strings and terminology to the qualifier: On
account of the status of the computer program assessment planning
development effort, it was decided to terminate project processes.
7. Separate related words: On account of the status of
the computer program assessment planning development effort, it
was decided to terminate until a later date project processes.
8. Equivocate: On account of the uncertain status of the
computer program assessment planning development effort, it was
proposed and tentatively adopted to suspend temporarily until
a later date project processes.
9. Obfuscate: Due to uncertainties in the status of the
computer program assessment planning development effort, proposals
were carefully considered and tentatively adopted to suspend temporarily
until a later date project processes.
10. Cover your tracks to make yourself look good: Due to
unavoidable uncertainties in the status of the computer program
assessment planning development effort, a number of contingency
proposals were carefully considered and one was tentatively adopted
to suspend on a temporary basis until a later date those project
processes deemed unessential to the expeditious fulfillment of
contract requirements.
© 1981 by Gerald Grow. For permission to reprint
this document. www.longleaf.net/ggrow